Thoughts That Feel Alien
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts, images, or impulses that appear suddenly
Did you know that we have between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts every day? Interestingly, about 95% of these thoughts are the same as the day before, and around 80% are negative. Many of the negative thoughts have critical, repetitive, or fear-based content, which makes sense that some of them stick. And when a thought feels loud, strange, or unsettling, we don’t just notice it, and it leads us to react. This is where intrusive thoughts often begin. According to the APA Dictionary, intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary thoughts, images, or impulses that are distressing and difficult to control. What makes these thoughts unique is that they are something we are not familiar with. They are inconsistent with our values, beliefs, or intentions, which is precisely why they can feel so alarming. After this thought passes by in our mind, we might stop and ask ourselves, “Why am I thinking this way right now?. That question alone can be alarming. It can make us feel confused, ashamed, or even afraid of our own minds. And even though we try to push the thought away, ignore it, or make it stop, suppression rarely works the way we hope. In fact, we might find that the more we try not to think about it, the louder and more persistent it becomes. At this point, the situation is not limited to a negative or strange thought anymore; it’s more about how we react to it. We begin monitoring it, checking whether it will come back, questioning what it says about us. But the question here is why that specific thought is important to you, why you are experiencing this, and whether this is truly something alarming. We will explore the concept of intrusive thoughts in this therapy sketch.
What are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are thoughts, images, or impulses that show up uninvited and unwanted. The difference between normal negative thoughts and intrusive thoughts is that they often feel out of character, unfamiliar, or opposite to who we believe ourselves to be. They can take many forms. Some people feel uncomfortable with those thoughts, while others experience them as disturbing, frightening, embarrassing, or intensely stressful. Often, they revolve around our biggest fears, responsibilities, or the things we care about most.
These can center around:
Thoughts about causing harm to oneself or others (despite having no intention)
Fears about losing control, even when the person has never acted impulsively and has no evidence of being unable to control their behavior
Persistent doubts about romantic relationships, despite emotional attachment, and a lack of objective relationship problems
Questions or doubts about sexual orientation or identity that are inconsistent with the person’s experience
The common point here is not the content; it is the unfamiliarity of the thought. The thought feels unrelated to the person experiencing it, and even having it feels strange. But the fact is that our minds generate lots of thoughts that we are aware of and not aware of during the day. When these kinds of thoughts are noticed, and it is possible to see that they fade after a while, since they do not feel related to us, just like other thoughts we experience throughout the day.
What are Intrusive Thoughts not?
Intrusive thoughts are often misunderstood, particularly in online spaces where users share content such as “Letting my intrusive thoughts win.” When a thought or action is shared under this trend, they often describe impulsive thoughts, sudden urges to do something fun or spontaneous, or hidden things you want to do, but you cannot for a reason. However, these are not categorized as intrusive thoughts because they missed the most crucial aspect: they are aligned with your wants, intentions, or personality.
When it takes up more space in the mind
When intrusive thoughts begin to take up more space in the mind, like capturing attention all the time, repetitive thinking of the thought, and closely monitoring our minds to catch it and suppress it, they begin to affect how we function mentally and emotionally. At this point, the mind becomes preoccupied with that thought, and it can also impact our actions. For example, we may avoid certain situations, places, or activities that seem to trigger the thought, seek repeated reassurance from others, or engage in mental rituals such as replaying events, checking our reactions, or trying to prove to ourselves that the thought isn’t true. When this occurs, daily functioning can be affected. Life may start to feel smaller, more restricted, or more exhausting than it needs to be. In situations like this, specific coping strategies are often used to try to manage intrusive thoughts. Some of these approaches may feel helpful in the moment, whereas others may provide only temporary relief or even unintentionally perpetuate the cycle. Here are some examples:
Coping strategies that might provide temporary relief
Repeatedly analyzing or trying to figure out what the thought means
Monitoring the mind closely to check whether the thought has returned
Suppressing or stopping the thought
Seeking repeated reassurance from others or from oneself
Avoiding situations, people, or activities associated with the thought
Coping Strategies might be helpful long-term
Identifying the thought and allowing the thought to pass without trying to solve it
Returning attention to the present moment without repeated checking or reassurance. Mindfulness exercises help maintain presence.
Not judging yourself and approaching yourself with self-compassion
Seeking professional support can be beneficial if you are experiencing.
Takeaways:
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts, images, or impulses that appear suddenly.
They often feel unfamiliar or alien to the person experiencing them, which is why they can feel alarming
These thoughts can become distressing when they begin to take up mental space, repeat frequently, and lead to constant monitoring or attempts to suppress them.
Responding to intrusive thoughts by analyzing, avoiding, or seeking reassurance may offer short-term relief but can maintain the cycle over time.
Allowing thoughts to pass without returning attention to the present moment, and approaching oneself with self-compassion, can be helpful
When intrusive thoughts start to impact daily functioning, seeking professional support can provide effective and compassionate guidance.
References:
American Psychological Association. Intrusive thought. In the APA Dictionary of Psychology. https://dictionary.apa.org/intrusive-thought
Healthline. (2022, February 28). How many thoughts do you have per day? And other FAQs.
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-many-thoughts-per-day#thoughts-per-dayNebraska Medicine. What are intrusive thoughts—and are they normal?
https://www.nebraskamed.com/health/conditions-and-services/behavioral-health/what-are-intrusive-thoughts-and-are-they-normalOnebright. (n.d.). Intrusive thoughts: Why do we get them?
https://onebright.com/advice-hub/news/intrusive-thoughts-why-do-we-get-them/Verywell Mind. (2024). Intrusive vs. impulsive thoughts: What’s the difference?
https://www.verywellmind.com/intrusive-vs-impulsive-thoughts-8647365Research For You. “Letting my intrusive thoughts win”: Is the latest TikTok trend raising awareness or trivialising OCD?
https://researchforyou.co.uk/mac-news/letting-my-intrusive-thoughts-win-is-the-latest-tiktok-trend-raising-awareness-or-trivialising-ocd/Harvard Health Publishing. (2023). Managing intrusive thoughts. Harvard Medical School.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/managing-intrusive-thoughts