What Does Adult Separation Anxiety Look Like?

Eventhough separation anxiety is known as a juvenile mental disorder, it can extend into adulthood and affect overall personal well-being

Separation Anxiety is known as one of the most common mental health problems that affects young kids. Separation Anxiety is characterized by the following symptoms: 

• Refusal to sleep alone: Kids may resist sleeping at bedtime or ask for closeness to the caregiver during bedtime to sleep comfortably.  

• Refusal to go to school: Kids may express their fear of being away from home during school or feel distressed when their caregiver is not around, so they may refuse to go to school. 

• Reluctance to be alone: Kids may fear being alone, especially when their caregiver or trusted people are absent.

• Clinginess: To feel relieved, kids may want to stick with their caregivers or trusted people. 

• Worry or fear of being away from family: Kids may exhibit overwhelming stress about something terrible that might happen to them or their loved ones when they are not around.

Despite separation anxiety is considered a juvenile mental health issue, many adults are impacted by it as well. It might affect adult relationships or the daily lives of individuals. 

Adult Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety in adulthood is linked to our attachment, which we formed in childhood. Adults who have an anxious attachment style may experience symptoms of separation anxiety. These symptoms can include things like 

• Refusal or reluctance to be alone: As an adult, we may experience significant discomfort if we have adult separation anxiety. We may avoid situations where we might get alone to avoid this discomfort and prefer staying close to loved ones. 

• Refusal or reluctance to be away from loved ones or places where attachments are formed: We might struggle with being away from places we know well and love as well as loved ones. 

• Difficulty sleeping away from loved ones: Similar to kids, we may find sleeping away from the attachment figure (more likely a partner) challenging.

• Anxiety or depression linked to being alone or away from loved ones: Even the thought of being alone itself might be the source of the emotional distress. This distress might manifest as anxiety or depression if it occurs for a long time. 

Separation anxiety in adulthood is linked to our attachment, which we formed in childhood. Adults who have an anxious attachment style may experience symptoms of separation anxiety. These symptoms can include things like Refusal or reluctance to be alone, Refusal or reluctance to be away from loved ones or places where attachments are formed, difficulty sleeping away from loved ones, and anxiety or depression linked to being alone or away from loved ones. Eventhough it is mainly related to our style of attachment, there might be several causes for separation anxiety in adulthood. 

Causes Of Separation Anxiety in Adulthood

Separation anxiety in adulthood can be linked to a variety of mental health issues, including: 

• Catastrophizing and other cognitive distortions: Cognitive distortions are negative thinking patterns that might amplify feelings of overwhelm or anxiety during being alone or away from loved ones. 

• Low self-esteem: Being present with others might help individuals feel reassurance and validation, whereas being alone or away from loved ones may trigger inadequacy and loneliness.  

• Experiences of trauma: Past experiences such as abandonment or neglect may lead to anxiety about separation or loneliness in adulthood. 

• Anxious attachment style: This attachment style is formed in early childhood when the child's needs are met inconsistently. The persistence of an anxious attachment style can affect relationships or the person's overall well-being. 

• Comorbid mental health conditions: Mental health conditions such as social anxiety, generalized anxiety, depression, panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and some personality disorders may contribute to stress rooted in being alone or away from loved ones significantly. 

Overall, separation anxiety caused by multiple reasons might impact an individual’s well-being and might lead to different problems.

Impacts of Adult Separation Anxiety

Adult separation anxiety can impact us in a variety of ways: 

• Co-dependency in relationships: When we suffer from separation anxiety, we might experience co-dependency, and we might excessively rely on our loved ones (our partner, family, or friends). This might manifest as seeking validation or taking others' opinions into account more than our own. 

• Clinginess in relationships: When we feel anxiety when we are away from our loved ones, we might want to be closer and prevent them from leaving to avoid the discomfort we experience. 

• Loss of self-identity in relationships: Separation anxiety might lead us to define our self-worth based on our connection with loved ones, putting our qualities in the background. 

• Relational distress: The request to be closer or seek validation from loved ones might lead to significant conflicts or emotional turmoils. 

• Other relationships (e.g., friendships) feel neglected: If our separation anxiety is restricted to one figure, we might focus on maintaining closeness with this specific figure, which might cause others to resent. 

• Work and responsibilities become neglected:  Anxiety we might experience might interfere with our work or life responsibilities. Our level of productivity and engagement in the tasks might affected by our separation anxiety.

Treatment for Adult Separation Anxiety

Treatment for adult separation anxiety may look similar to other forms of treatment for anxiety. Effective methods may include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy can be effective in challenging unhelpful thoughts and cognitive distortions.

• Couples therapy can be effective in working through co-dependency and relational problems.

• Journaling and self-reflection can be effective in understanding our relationships with loved ones.

• Psychodynamic therapy can be effective in understanding the roots of attachment.

Takeaways

Eventhough separation anxiety is known as a juvenile mental disorder, it can extend into adulthood and affect relationships and overall personal well-being. It may stem from cognitive distortions, low self-esteem, experiences of trauma, attachment styles, and comorbid mental health issues. This anxiety may lead to difficulties in preserving a sense of self and independence and might result in co-dependence and emotional distress. Addressing adult separation anxiety might help individuals to have more balanced relationships.