What Is A Balanced Perspective?
We can accept a more accurate reality when we can develop a balanced perspective.
The Rigid Perspective
A rigid perspective refers to a perspective we may adopt that is often one-sided, imbalanced, and flawed. Examples of rigid perspectives include:
I failed my exam, so I am not intelligent.
I am too tired to do my work, so I am lazy.
My partner asked for space, so they did not love me.
My parents raised me, so I owe them everything.
My friends are too busy to hang out, so I am unimportant to them.
When we adopt a rigid perspective, we create a flawed reality that can lead to things like:
Heightened stress
Anxiety
Depression
Difficulties adapting to new situations
Ruptures in relationships
Inability to cope with stress
Struggles with personal growth
The Balanced Perspective
A balanced perspective refers to the ability to weigh multiple truths and evidence to understand and accept a neutral, balanced reality, and often more accurate reality. Examples of balanced perspectives include:
Understanding that people who love us can also be abusive.
Recognizing that what we want may be different from what we need.
Learning that we can love others and still have boundaries.
Knowing that mistakes and failures are opportunities for growth.
A balanced perspective is not the same as a “silver lining.” Silver linings tend to negate the real, painful experiences of life. A balanced perspective helps us weigh the positive experiences with the negative ones. When we are able to develop balanced perspectives, we are able to achieve things like:
A better understanding of ourselves and others
A better understanding of stressful experiences
An ability to adapt to evolving situations
A more developed sense of empathy
An outlet for processing our emotions
How to Adopt a Balanced Perspective
Developing a balanced perspective involves:
Taking inventory of the situation, your thoughts, and your emotions
Reflecting on what informed your thoughts
Using the information to develop a balanced perspective.
This can be done by completing a thought record.
Completing a Thought Record
Situation or Event: “I failed an exam.”
Initial thoughts: “I am unintelligent and a failure.”
Feelings: “Shame,” “Sadness,” “Disappointment,” “Worry.”
What informed that thought? : “I received a failing grade.”
What disproves the thought? : “I have received stellar grades in the past,” I receive positive feedback from instructors,” “My classmates ask me for help.”
Is there a balanced perspective?: “I received a failing grade, which was disappointing. But I am capable of receiving better grades. I will study harder next time and ask my instructor for support.”
Developing a Balanced Perspective
We can accept a more accurate reality when we can develop a balanced perspective. This affects the ways in which we see ourselves and others.
Remember, multiple truths can coexist (even ones that might be contradictory).
Thought records and other forms of introspection can help us challenge and expand rigid thoughts.